(mostly true)

AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHTY YEARS
by John T. Baker
The tales that I could tell you,        
Bizarre beyond belief!
The highs of bold adventure,
The lows of bitter grief.

Tahiti, Crete and Iceland,
I've sailed the Seven Seas;
I've tramped the vast Sahara
And scaled the Pyrenees.

I've seen the sights of Capetown
And walked Dubrovnik's walls,
I've visited St. Peter's
And worshiped at St. Paul's.

I've strolled the beach at Bali,
Explored the Pyramids,
I've photographed in Agra
Ten thousand hungry kids.

I've bummed around Nairobi,
Jerusalem, Riyadh;
I've talked with Jews and Arabs
And learned about their God.

I've kissed a lass in Dublin,
A few more in Paree,
And when I got to Rio,
The gals kept chasing me.

I've sampled schnapps in Stockholm,
Gin Slings in Singapore,
In London amber lager,
French brandy in Lahore.

I've done the Ring of Kerry
And gone around the Horn,
I've been inside the stable
Where Jesus Christ was born.

I've rambled  through the Outback
And trekked the Yukon Trail,
I've bungee-jumped in Queenstown .  .  .
So far stayed out of jail.

I hired a car in Naples
For that Amalfi Drive
Through hairpin curves and traffic
And managed to survive.

I spent some time in Shanghai,
Bangkok and Katmandu,
I floated the Zambezi,
Corraled a kangaroo.

I checked out California,
Decided not to stay,
Then kicked around the rest of
The good old U. S. A.
        
But that's a long, long story .  .  .
Heroics and horseplay .  .  .
I think I'll just save something
To tell another day.