NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
by John T. Baker
My New Year's resolutions,
What a pleasure to describe:
To be more neat, watch what I eat,
Less frequently imbibe;

To be benign and patient,
Ever caring and polite,
With full aplomb serenely calm
And nevermore uptight;

To suffer asses gladly,
Cast aside pretense and pride,
In all I wear look debonair,
Genteel and dignified.

My New Year's resolutions,
How inspiring to review . . .
Spectacular! . . .  too bad they are
Impossible to do!