GOD AND EVE
by John T. Baker
One day when God alone with Eve
Was walking in the Garden,
Eve said, “I have a problem, God,
For which I crave Your pardon.

“What’s wrong?” asked God, and Eve replied,
“Well, God, I’m just not happy!
I’m sick to death of apples and
So often I feel crappy.

“I know that you created me
And gave me all this beauty;
I love the plants and animals –
That little snake’s a cutie.

“But God, it’s lonesome here at times,
I often think if only
There could be someone else around,
I would not feel so lonely.”

“No problem, Eve!” said God, “Cheer up!
I have a great solution;
I’ll create a companion who
Can make a contribution.

“We’ll call him Man, he’ll have his faults,
He’ll lie and be vainglorious,
He’ll not be smart, he’ll love to fight,
Demand to be victorious.

“But he’ll be bigger, stronger too;
You’ll feel at times tormented,
But all in all and on the whole
You should be more contented.

“He’ll satisfy your fleshly needs,
Although sometimes quite childish;
You’ll have to give him good advice
When he becomes too wildish..

“I think he’ll cure your loneliness,
Despite the aggravation,
So you can have him if you wish . . .
But there’s one stipulation.”

“What’s that?” asked Eve, and God replied,
“He’ll be quite proud, requiring
Assurance that I made HIM first,
He’ll be so self-admiring.

“So Eve,” said God, “you must not tell
A single soul, no other;
Let’s keep it just between us two –
One woman to another.”