MISS BEA
by John T. Baker
Miss Bea was a spinster, age eighty,
Much loved for her kindness to all;
She welcomed with pleasure her pastor
One day when he happened to call.

"Come in, have a seat, just a moment,
I'll fix us a nice cup of tea!"
He found the Victorian parlor
A delight with the things there to see.

Upon the old-fashioned pump organ
He noticed an ancient glass bowl
Which was filled to the brim with clear water
And a sight that would startle his soul.

For floating therein was a condom,
To the pastor's great shock and surprise;
He stared at the thing in amazement,
Unable to trust his own eyes.

Miss Bea brought the tea and some cookies;
They quietly sipped for a while
Until at long last the young preacher
Inquired with a hesitant smile:

"Miss Bea, would you mind, could you tell me
About what I see over there?"
He pointed his hand at the condom;
The spinster arose from her chair.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "that's a wonder!
I found it out under the trees;
The package said, 'Place on your organ
And keep wet for preventing disease.'

"And Pastor," her eyes now were glowing,
"It works, you'll be happy to hear!
Ever since it's been there on my organ,
I've not had a cold for a year."