A PORPOISE WITH A PURPOSE
by John T. Baker
A porpoise with a purpose
Ventured forth one fateful day
To take a trip behind a ship
Away across the bay.

The purpose of the porpoise
Was to find a bite to eat
Among the scraps that just perhaps
Might well provide a treat.

The Captain spied the porpoise
But was not at all concerned;
His years at sea were guarantee
Of lessons he had learned.

The Captain was uncertain
What the porpoise planned to do
But nonetheless he made a guess
And notified the crew.

"Now hear your Captain speaking!"
He informed them with a shout,
"Right dead astern you will discern
A creature with a snout.

"That creature is a porpoise
And its purpose I don't know,
But I respect its intellect -
We'll take it nice and slow."

"Don't be so cautious, Captain,"
Loud a bold young fellow cried,
"We'll simply shoot the bloomin' brute!"
The Captain quick replied:

"You NEVER shoot a porpoise
Till its purpose you perceive;
To improvise would be unwise
And frightfully naive.

"The creature might be wounded 
And incited to attack;
We must refrain and ascertain
If it would like a snack.

"We'll just placate the porpoise
Till its purpose is revealed;
Now go, good chaps, fetch galley scraps;
THEY'LL be our battlefield."

The crew obeyed the Captain
And dumped out into the sea
The food they found they had not downed,
A tasty potpourri.

"Well done, brave lads, look hearty!"
The Captain gave a cheer;
"We'll soon find out - just watch its snout -
If it will disappear."

The puzzled porpoise pondered
What the fuss was all about
But just adored the smorgasbord
The sailors had tossed out.

Its purpose thus accomplished
Quick the porpoise then withdrew
As in its ears long rang the cheers
Of that triumphant crew.

The Captain proudly postured
And proposed a pithy rhyme:
"The proper bait propitiates
A porpoise every time."