THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by John T. Baker
Tis the week before Christmas 
     and all through the house
I keep searching for goodies 
     I know that my spouse
Has prepared for when Santa 
     and all the kids come -
Until then she is serving 
     a bare minimum!

She’s been baking the cookies 
     and pastries all week
And she hides them the better 
     the harder I seek;
I hunt and I hint 
     but with little success,
She ignores when I ask 
     and just smiles when I guess.

Those enticing aromas 
     are so appetizing!
The thoughts of those 
     tidbits are too tantalizing!
How can she torment me 
     with all this temptation!
How dare she subject me 
     to such aggravation!

I at last summon courage, 
     demand to know why,
And I promptly receive 
     a straightforward reply:
“I’m tired of your grumblin’, 
     I’m sick of your bitchin’;
If you can’t stand the wait, 
     stay out of my kitchen!”