Sonnet IV of the Amatory Poems of Mabel Wigglebottom

I wish I were that curvy centrefold
with gold-streaked hair and skin that's tanned light gold;
that girl who lies on Robert's bathroom floor
and sees the room steam up each morning while
he showers and he shaves… there may be more;
who knows what else she sees? Check out her smile!
I'm sure it's hard for him, but though I swore
off jealousy, I'm mad! She cramps my style.
I envy her! What if she left that page,
transformed from paper into flesh somehow
beneath my Robert's hand? Would they engage
in hotter scenes than those we star in now?
I wish I were that curvy centrefold
with gold-streaked hair and skin that's tanned light gold.