A Glass of Water

One summer feeling hot and dry,
I went into a shop to buy,
a glass of water, cool and fresh
to slake my burning thirstiness.

Proprietor shook his balding head,
"Not in glasses sir", he said.
"there's water running down my drain
and I've got water on the brain,
I've drops and spots in little pots,
large and small, I've got them all.
There's tiny squirts and great big spurts,
fresh in from the water works,
I can supply a pour or trickle
or if you like, a wind blown ripple.
There's last years puddles at half price,
a little dry but still quite nice,
I've sheets from tiny to immense,
they come in almost every length,
sprays and fountains, splashes, drips,
spumes and flumes and sprays and spits,
brooks and streams. a rivulet,
if I don't have it, I can get
AND my friend, just to be civil,
I will GIVE you half a dribble,
a lump, a piece, a chunk, a block,
a glass of water, I have not."

Said I, "I think you're really strange,
off your head and quite deranged,
up the pole, around the twist,
giving brains out, you were missed,
it's common knowledge one cannot
get water in a chunk or block."
He turned around and in a trice,
he'd stuffed my mouth with party ice.