Ned (The Budgerigar)

Ned the 'budgie' came to stay
(While grandson went on holiday.)
He'd sit his perch and screech and squawk
Yet never would he try to talk
So I resolved that in one week,
I'd teach that noisy bird to speak.

Seven long days I plied that bird
With rhythmic metered verse I'd heard,
Lots of Shakespeare, jokes and news,
Some rocking songs of Rap and Blues.
My wife laughed loud and long each day,
"You silly bugger John," she'd say.

'Twas when I whispered my last joke,
My voice was gone, I could but croak.
Tired and spent and clumsy, lurched,
Against the cage in which Ned perched,
And Ned went crashing to the ground
With cage and feathers strewn around.

His stricken voice came from the wreck
"To be or not to be by heck,
Wherefore art thou, clumsy beggar
Knocketh off not one more feather,
Hast heard the joke about this freak
Who tried to teach this bird to speak?
In truth thy wife she was not wrong,
Thou art a silly bugger John."