Young Tom

Tom was a lad that loved to eat,
He rarely ever felt replete.
He'd eat and eat and stuff and stuff
Yet never seemed to have enough.

He rarely ceased his gormandising
So it wasn't so surprising,
While eating beans and liverwurst,
The poor young fellow up and burst.

You should have heard his poor Mum's screams,
Machine - gunned down with Heinz Baked Beans
Then struggling bravely to her knees,
Felled once again with hard - boiled peas.

Before Dad went he roundly cursed
A flying lump of liverwurst.
Sank to the floor with just a sigh
Beneath a hail of cottage pie.

Sister Sue burst into tears
Spaghetti dangling from her ears,
And while her mouth was open wide,
A suet dumpling dropped inside.

When brother Jack came home from work
He glanced at young Tom's handiwork,
Said, "I could eat a flamin' horse,
I'll have to clean up first of course."