Household Chores
Light Verse by Don Tidwell

Contemplation
Gadgets
Garbage Morn
Winter Throes
The New Car

		CONTEMPLATION

	I contemplate the bird house
	    as it sits upon the table
	and the carpenter who made them both --
	    my son, who is so able.
	I contemplate the walnut tree,
	    the roses and the lawn;
	I contemplate my many years,
	    and wonder where they've gone.
	I contemplate the hummingbirds
	    and marvel at their being.
	I contemplate the pleasure
	    of enjoying what I'm seeing.
	I contemplate the fleecy clouds
	    that shade the summer sun ...
	I contemplate, and contemplate --
			And nothing else gets done.




		GADGETS

	I have within my household
	A host of gadgets true
	Designed to be my helpmates
	In the daily chores I do.

	I fill my leisure time bank
	With the hours my gadgets save ...
	I can listen to my stereo
	Or watch my TV wave.

	I sweep with my electric broom.
	I tamp with my compactor;
	I primp with my electric comb
	And make up by Max Factor.

	I perk with Mr.Coffee;
	I peel with Kitchen Maid ...
	I Osterize my ice cream
	And deep freeze my lemonade.

	I enjoy a soothing whirlpool
	In my bathtub with Jacuzzi,
	Or bask beneath an infra-red
	Which curls my hair up fuzzy.

	I vacuum with my Kirby
	And drill with Black and Decker;
	Those gadgets make more holes in wood
	Than any old woodpecker!!

	I keep warm with Mr. Lennox
	And cool with Frigidaire ...
	I do the family laundry
	In my washer-dryer pair.

	I cook upon my Sunbeam
	Or use my microwave ...
	There seems to be no limit
	To the time my gadgets save.

	I depend upon them greatly
	So I sit right down and pout
	When l'm cheated of their service,
	Every time the power goes out!




		 GARBAGE MORN

	Have you ever chanced to notice
	In a given garbage morn,
	How some people have to scurry
	In their race to beat the horn?

	Frumpy housewives, robed and slippered,
	Tugging boxes, cans and bags,
	Filled with smelly kitchen leavings,
	Household waste and oily rags!

	Fighting off the neighbors dogs
	And hungry cats who like to eat,
	As they strive to move their payload
	From the carport to the street.

	Some have light-weight two wheeled buggies,
	Cans lined up at dress-right-dress;
	Others cope with sacks and cartons --
	Most will break and leave a mess.

	Stand aside and see the late ones
	Watch the truck roll slowly by.
	Sad to see them mount their tonnage ...
	Sad to hear them curse and cry!

	To the car then with the garbage,
	Cram it, stuff it, in the trunk;
	Lap the truck and leave their cargo
	With some distant neighbor's junk!

	Please absorb this moral, ladies,
	If you loathe this nasty chore:
	See to it your lazy husband,
	Gets it out the NIGHT BEFORE!!




			WINTER THROES

I contemplate the mounds of snow piled high upon the ground.
I contemplate the cruel gray skies and coldness all around.
I contemplate the ladder leaning on the neighbor's shed;
The chimney wafting smoke into that blacking thunderhead.
I contemplate the dreary days which winter seasons bring
And long for April's sunny skies, birds, not too cold to sing.
I contemplate the glowing fire which warms my wrinkled hide,
And thank the Lord that he sees fit
				     To let me stay inside.




	         THE NEW CAR

	When you buy a brand new Camry
	cause the one you had is old,
	be sure to get the one that has
	accessories of gold,
		and
	Insist upon the color
	called exotic cashmere beige,
	for, according to the salesman,
	that's the current color rage;
		then
	Obtain a goodly quantity
	of soft and fluffy rags
	to clean the gold accessories
	as mentioned on the tags.
		then
	Park it in the driveway.....
	keep it washed and looking good,
	and know that you're the envy
	of the entire neighborhood!!

Home

© Don Tidwell 1953-2003